More Than You Can Handle

I've been thinking a lot about the saying, "God won't give you more than you can handle." I have a few problems with this, mainly the fact that it isn't true. I'm pretty sure it's not biblical. And who are we to say what God will do?

Someone told me this when we found out we were having twins. At the time, I assumed they meant, "You can handle raising twins, since that's what God is giving you." I think that's what they thought they meant, too. But that wasn't what happened. I didn't get the opportunity to raise twins after all. Does that mean that I wouldn't have been able to handle it? He didn't allow me to keep both babies because "God doesn't give you more than you can handle"?

Or was the person really talking about "handling" the loss of my daughter? Did she say that to me because God wouldn't give me more grief and heartache than I can "handle"? Did God give her some glimpse into the future, unknown even to her? If that's the case, I strongly disagree. He did give me "more than I can handle." Who really can "handle" months of fear, of not knowing what was wrong, of praying and fasting with seemingly no results? Who can "handle" the roller-coaster of emotions from one doctor telling you, "don't buy your twin stuff yet" and the next one saying "she doesn't look as bad now, there is hope"? Who can handle giving birth via surgery to two beautiful baby girls and barely getting to kiss them hello before they are taken up to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit), having to lie there and get stitched back up and brought to recovery, all the while you are waiting to hear how your babies are, wondering but afraid to find out? And who can handle the moment when your husband returns to your bedside after being paged to go up to the NICU, when he kneels by your bed with tears in his eyes while the doctor tells you the words you never want to hear: "there's nothing we can do"? Nothing about the situation was something I can handle.

I don't know anyone who can "handle" burying their child, who can handle seeing that tiny coffin and imagine the perfect little body being put into the ground instead of being held in their arms.

So I know that God often allows us to go through things that we can't handle. Fortunately, He also gives us the grace to get through those otherwise overwhelming and impossible-to-handle situations. I'm not sure how He got me through my impossible situation. Honestly, looking back, there are a lot of things I don't remember. I was in a fog for many months. But I do know, when I look back, that I couldn't have gotten through it without a supernatural grace.

God sometimes will give you more than you can handle. But there is nothing that He can't handle. Instead of asking the sometimes unanswerable question of "Why," focus on the Almighty "Who," the one who can get you through.

Interview with author Adam Blumer

Adam Blumer, author of Fatal Illusions, releases his newest book, The Tenth Plague, today. I have posted information about his book and an interview with him for. I encourage anyone who enjoys Christian suspense to check out his books. His first book was excellent, and I look forward to reading his newest one. 

General Information

Title:                            The Tenth Plague
Publisher:                    Kirkdale Press
Release Date:             January 29, 2013
ISBN 13:                     978-1-57799-524-1
Format:                        E-book
Genre:                         Christian suspense/thriller
Author Website:          http://www.adamblumerbooks.com
Author Facebook:       http://www.facebook.com/AdamBlumerNovelist
Twitter:                       https://twitter.com/adamblumer

Purchase Links:           Vyrso:             http://kirkdalepress.com/books/the-tenth-plague/
Price:                           $7.49

The book will be available for purchase at Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com on release day, January 29.

Book Summary

Water turns to blood. Flies and gnats attack the innocent. Marc and Gillian Thayer’s vacation resort becomes a grisly murder scene, with a killer using the ten plagues of Egypt as his playbook for revenge.

When their friend turns up dead, Marc and Gillian put their vacation on hold, enlist the help of a retired homicide detective, and take a closer look at the bizarre plagues as they escalate in intensity. Meanwhile, a stranger is after the Thayers’ newly adopted baby. Will they uncover the truth behind the bitter agenda before the tenth plague, the death of the firstborn son?

About the Author

Adam Blumer is the author of Fatal Illusions (Kregel Publications) and The Tenth Plague (Kirkdale Press). A print journalism major in college, he works as a freelance writer and editor after serving in editorial roles for more than twenty years. He lives in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula with his wife, Kim, and his daughters, Laura and Julia.

Endorsements

“Suspense of biblical proportions! Adam Blumer does a masterful job transforming the biblical plagues to a modern-day scenario full of twists and turns that will keep you riveted until the very end.” —Bonnie S. Calhoun, publisher of Christian Fiction Online Magazine and author of Cooking the Books, a Sloane Templeton mystery

“An intriguing premise with suspense that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Blumer’s crafted a great thriller in The Tenth Plague.” —Graham Garrison, author of Hero’s Tribute and Legacy Road

“The Tenth Plague delivers a compelling premise of . . . murder that will thrill readers of clean Christian fiction!” —Bryn Jones, author of The Next Chapter

“Adam Blumer’s Tenth Plague sweeps an ordinary couple into a current of extraordinary events—all with a mentally deranged man calling the shots. Here’s a novel that will keep you wondering what can possibly go wrong next!” —Rick Barry, author of Gunner’s Run

“Adam Blumer writes a suspenseful story with a passion for God not often seen in today’s marketplace.” —Creston Mapes, best-selling novelist

“An almost-forgotten mine disaster, a misguided conference on Bible translation, a twisted take on the book of Revelation, a botched ATF-FBI operation, a gifted autistic child—Adam Blumer has woven these strands and more into a page-turning tapestry of a mystery. You won’t want to lay this one aside till the author has tied up all the loose ends.” —Richard C. Leonard, author of Heart of the Highriders and Silence of the Drums

“A chilling tale that keeps readers turning pages and pondering its truths. The Tenth Plague is a solid entry in Adam Blumer’s bibliography, and fans of thrillers with spiritual depth will find much to enjoy.” —C. J. Darlington, author of Thicker than Blood and Bound by Guilt

Interview

1.      What was your inspiration behind The Tenth Plague?

One day I was reading the book of Revelation and came across 22:18–19. “I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book, and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book” (ESV). My mind began playing the “what if” game. Would God really bring a biblical plague on someone who tampered with His Word? I chatted with a few theologian friends, and the plot emerged from there.

2.      How does this novel compare with your first novel, Fatal Illusions?

Though the plot, of course, is different, the two novels share a number of similarities. Both are set in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, where I live. I like to write about average folks like Marc and Gillian Thayer, a pastor and his wife who face unexpected, even threatening, events. Of course, there’s another really bad killer who wants to do them harm, and their retired homicide detective friend, Chuck Riley, once again comes out of retirement to help them. I also like to weave in a historical event that somehow relates to the present day. In Fatal Illusions, it was the killer’s obsession with Houdini; in The Tenth Plague, an old mine disaster plays an important role. The past always plays an important role in the present—a running theme in my novels. Overall, I like to write about redemption: how biblical truth offers the answers to the complicated issues of life. Stories, like parables, present some of the best ways to illustrate biblical truths.

3.      What was one of the most important lessons you learned during the writing of this novel?

The power of the collaborative process. I had a fairly strong first draft, but I was stuck. A novel editor provided a creative springboard and helped me see where my true story lay. Without her help, I doubt this story would have seen the light of day.

4.      What part of writing this novel took the most work?

This novel required a ton of research. From an old mining tragedy to autism, from adoption law to anthrax, from pheromones to the Oklahoma City bombing, the research for this one required much more than I ever expected. I’m so thankful for technology and ease of access, thanks to the Internet. Without Google and so many resources at my fingertips, I’d probably still be researching this story. 

5.      So far, what has been your favorite work experience in life?

During one summer between years in high school, I worked at a library, a book lover’s paradise. Granted, a lot of the work involved stocking shelves, but being surrounded by so many fascinating books and interesting authors was pure heaven. I was born a die-hard book lover, and I’ll probably die one too. 

6. Consider the qualities that make you unique. How do these qualities come out in your writing?

I love suspense fiction and history, so a blending of the two always seems to come out in my writing. In high school, I won awards in calligraphy; Gillian Thayer, my female lead, is into calligraphy in a big way (it’s her job). I’ve always been intrigued with how one’s past impacts his or her present and future. This is a recurring theme in my novels because it’s part of who I am. Now that I think about it, what I write is inseparable to some degree from who I am.

7. Introduce your plot summary and main characters. What is your favorite part of the story?

Water turns to blood. Flies and gnats attack the innocent. Marc and Gillian Thayer’s vacation resort becomes a grisly murder scene, with a killer using the ten plagues of Egypt as his playbook for revenge.

When their friend turns up dead, Marc and Gillian put their vacation on hold, enlist the help of a retired homicide detective, and take a closer look at the bizarre plagues as they escalate in intensity. Meanwhile, a stranger is after the Thayers’ newly adopted baby. Will they uncover the truth behind the bitter agenda before the tenth plague, the death of the firstborn son?

My favorite part is when the firstborn son is revealed and the novel culminates in the tenth plague. This is the most suspenseful and action-packed part of the story, with several key characters in jeopardy. I had a blast writing it.

8. One of the main themes of The Tenth Plague is confronting and dealing with your past. What can readers take away from this theme, especially in a novel that deals with religion and death?

Both the villain and my heroine, Gillian Thayer, grapple with heartbreaking real-life issues from their past. But how they respond shows two very different paths. My hope is that readers will see the stark contrast in the context of biblical truth presented in the story. The bottom line is that God is enough, and He offers the solution to every problem of life. This is another repeated theme in my stories. Thank you for the opportunity to talk about my latest project.

Some content used by permission of Kirkdale Press

Additional Content if Desired

What are two things about you people might find surprising?

I took lessons to play the accordion in junior high and high school (wanna hear a polka?). When I was a tween, I was a ventriloquist and had a dummy named Andy. I used to entertain the younger kids in children’s church with routines I made up.

How did you meet your wife? I understand it’s an amazing story.

In the spring of 1995, still single and disillusioned with dating, I gave up on the idea of dating anyone ever again. I decided to go on a trip to the Holy Land as sort of a spiritual pilgrimage; I wanted to meditate on God and see what He wanted to show me about Himself. Wouldn’t you know it? What I least expected happened. At the Boston airport, I met Kim, a gorgeous brunette (her church group met mine) who’d brought the same novel to read on the airplane, A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. No kidding. Then at London’s Heathrow Airport, the ticket person thought she and I were a couple and put us together on the all-night flight to Tel Aviv. Kim didn’t care for her sardines, so I ate them. The relationship appeared to be promising. To cut to the chase, we chatted in Jericho, conversed in Nazareth, and talked nonstop in Jerusalem. On the way home I sat beside her on the plane. A few weeks later, I visited her in Milwaukee and met her parents. By New Year’s, we were engaged. Pretty amazing, huh? I now tell singles not to look for a marriage partner. Seek God, and He’ll put you on a collision course if marriage is His plan for you.

Gossiper--The Subtle Bully

There's a lot of talk about bullying these days. The media, the government, the schools--everyone is trying to find a way to cut back on bullying. And with good reason. We have all probably read the articles about the tragic suicides that happen around the country as a result of being bullied. I remember my years in public school. I had it a lot better than some, but there were times I was picked on. This happened mostly in middle school, which seems to be the time in life where sweet, normal children suddenly morph into something horrible. I remember the feelings that being bullied brought on: hopelessness, rejection, unworthiness--and I remember at times just wishing time could speed up and I could be an adult. Because everyone knows that adults don't bully.

I have since learned, however, that bullying does exist in the adult world. Just like for kids, it happens at our meetings, on the playground, on the Internet, and even in our churches. It mostly goes by the innocuous name of "gossip," but really it's just a more subtle way of bullying.

Bullying, as defined on stopbullying.gov, is "aggressive behavior...that involves a real or perceived power imbalance." I thought that was also a great definition of gossip. In fact, gossip is included on the website as being part of "social bullying" or "relational bullying." It includes things such as spreading rumors about someone, telling people not to be friends with someone, or purposely embarrassing someone in front of others.

I never wanted to be a bully. Even when I was in middle school, I really tried not to be a part of making fun of others. Not that I didn't occasionally laugh at someone's expense or make a quip or two to try to be popular, but I didn't want to be considered a bully.

But as an adult, I have been guilty of being a "social bully" by participating in gossip. Of course, at the time, I didn't consider it gossiping. I certainly didn't consider it bullying. But looking back, I realize that it was exactly what I was doing.

When I was gossiping, I was setting a "perceived power imbalance." I was talking about someone else while thinking I was better than them. My discussion of other people's faults (or "perceived" faults) somehow made me think higher of myself. Maybe I could forget my own faults, for a little while, if I was focusing on someone else.

When I was listening to gossip, I would think, "Thank goodness I'm not like that." Again, a perceived imbalance of power. Which is really another word for pride. Which is a sin. So, I have to come to the conclusion that...(wait for it)...gossip is a sin. (GASP)

I know, I know, it's obvious, right? But for so many years I refused to see it how it is. How it grieves God. No matter what you call it, when you are talking about one person's faults to other people, no matter what you think your motives are, you are sinning. And I'm talking to myself here. I was in the wrong. I have repented, and I know I'm forgiven. I am sorry for the times I have gossiped, and I am sorry for the times I have listened to gossip. I know I will do it again, although I'm trying not to. The hard thing about gossip is that it's a habit, and it's hard to stop. It becomes so much a part of life that you are immune to it. I honestly think we are oblivious to it much of the time. I'm honestly not trying to point fingers at anyone (except myself). I wish I had been aware of it so much sooner. Now, when I'm talking about someone else to anyone else, I try to pay attention to what I'm saying, so it doesn't turn into gossip.

Ephesians 4:29 states, " Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." I'm pretty sure gossip is "corrupt communication," and it certainly doesn't minister grace or edify. Let's open our eyes and ears to the truth, and let's not be adult bullies. 

Degrees of Grief?

Which is worse, losing a spouse or losing a child? Losing a parent or losing a sibling? Having a miscarriage or stillbirth or losing a child shortly after birth?

Years ago, when I thought about these kinds of questions, there was always an answer in my mind of what kind of losses I thought would be the hardest. But as I have experienced life, and experienced several different kinds of losses, I have decided that you can't compare these kinds of events. Every loss is different and hard in its own way.

I have lost friends, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. I have lost a daughter and a father and a father-in-law. And although there are a few of these events that impacted and changed my life more than others, each loss has hurt and I don't want to minimize the pain from one by comparing it to the others.

When we hear someone's tragic news, it is only natural to compare their circumstances with something we have experienced ourselves. If we haven't experienced something similar, we imagine what it would be like. If we have, we sympathize and remember our own grief. What we should never do, however, is to treat their loss as less than what we have gone through. Implying that "they could have it worse" is never helpful.

After I lost my daughter, I was comforted by the presence of her twin sister who survived. I didn't leave the hospital with empty arms. I still had a baby to take care of. And it really was a comfort and a help. But I didn't want or need to hear that from other people. To me, when someone pointed out how lucky I was to still have one daughter, it seemed to be trivializing the loss I suffered. I was glad I had Adrianna--but I wanted Naomi, too! Still having a living child did not take away the suffering of having a dead one!

We received many letters and cards, and most were sensitive and comforting. I remember one card we received in the mail that kind of made me mad, though. It was from someone we didn't even know, and on it was a crude drawing of a baby angel. I don't remember if there was more on it, but I remember being really upset. I have no idea what the motive of the card-sender was. Probably he/she thought it was a comforting thought. But it bugged me, and I still think about it, almost 7 years later. 

All suffering is different. And all suffering is personal. I don't pretend to understand what I don't, and I try to be careful what I say to a suffering person. And I've concluded that there are no "degrees" of suffering. I haven't suffered more or less than others; I don't want to be viewed as someone who has had a harder life than someone else. Each of our paths are unique, but ultimately, in the end, if we know the One who died to take away ALL suffering, we will all be equal in our joy.

Worth A Fight?

Feeding on demand? Feeding on a schedule? Co-sleeping? Crying it out? Infant potty training?

These are some of the things parents of infants consider when deciding on how they are going to parent their infants. Going into parenting the first time, I knew that there were many different methods to choose from, and different interpretations of those methods. What I didn't realize until recently is that there are some serious hard feelings and anger flowing from certain people toward those practicing differing parenting styles.

Raising children is confusing. At least it is for me. I like to read and research before doing things, and in my research on parenting I came across a ton of information. There are so many parenting "experts" out there, and they all seem to say something different. Even among Christians there are differences of opinions on the best way to raise an infant.

One of the biggest controversies that I have seen has to do with infant feeding. With my firstborn, I tried to nurse him every time he cried. I would nurse him until he fell asleep, and then he would wake up about 45 minutes later and I would nurse him again. He would fall asleep nursing again, and then 30 minutes later wake up, etc. This went on for a while, and honestly, I was convinced I was never going to have another baby. I know it was a selfish thought, but I didn't know how I would cope on being able to sleep only 45 minutes at a time. I didn't know what to do. Then I discovered a book called "On Becoming Babywise." I read the book and started to try out the method in the book. And it was amazing! Within a week or so, my son was going two hours between feedings, then 2 and a half hours, and then three hours; and taking real naps. He was sleeping several hours at a time at night, and very soon he was sleeping through the night.

I know now that "Babywise" is a highly controversial subject among parents and doctors. I was shocked when I started reading reports of babies failing to thrive because they followed the book. I really don't understand it, because I have read the book several times, and the book clearly states in at least a few places that you should never ignore hunger cues. What that means is that if your baby is hungry before the scheduled time, feed him. The schedule they recommend is not meant to be followed above all else--it is a guideline to help a baby regulate his hunger cycles. If someone ignores their baby's hunger signals and refuses to feed him until the scheduled time, and the baby loses weight because of it, I don't understand how the book can be blamed.

Any method of parenting can be taken out-of-context or taken too far, but that doesn't mean the method itself isn't helpful or valid. For example, there are a lot of parents who believe it is best for a baby to be "worn" in a sling for many hours a day. People have written books and articles advising this, suggesting that it will calm and soothe the baby and help the baby cry less. Well, someone could interpret that to mean that a baby should be worn at all times, even while cooking or fixing a fire on a wood stove. The infant could be burned, and the parent could blame the author of the book or website. A parent's ignorance or misuse of a certain method really shouldn't be blamed on the method itself. Read with discretion, and trust your instincts. If you are uncomfortable with a certain method of doing something, you probably shouldn't do it.

I don't know, personally, about the theology of the authors of the Babywise books. I only know that the method in the books worked for me. My point is that there are differences in parenting styles, and attacking other people for raising their children in a way that is different from you doesn't help. Don't tell someone that they shouldn't be a parent--share your wisdom and experience, and allow others to do the same.

Review Time! Reading Eggs.

I recently discovered the opportunity to review a website in exchange for getting a 3-month free subscription. It is an exciting website called Reading Eggs. I came across this opportunity on a website entitled "The Homeschool Lounge," which I absolutely love. But this review is not about that. I'll save that for a separate post.

Reading Eggs is an online "teach your kids to read" site for children ages 3-13. I was excited to be able to try this since I have three kids in that age category. I was especially excited for Noah, my 3-year-old, to try it. And try it he did. He loves the site and wants to do it for hours every day. And I have to say that I love the site, too. In the month he has been using it, he has (honestly) learned how to read. The site really works!

To be honest, he was close to reading before we tried Reading Eggs. He has known his letter names and sounds since before he turned 3. I haven't had the time to sit down with him to help him to learn how to sound out words, though, and since he is so young, I wasn't in a hurry to. The great thing about Reading Eggs is that it has a placement test for the child to do before being assigned a level to start. Noah started at map 1, the first level, but quickly flew through the lessons.

Reading Eggs works so well because not only is it educational, it is also fun. The child earns "eggs" by doing the lessons and reading the books at the end of the lesson. The eggs can be cashed in to play fun games, add fun accessories to the child's avatar, or to purchase furniture for the avatar's "house." When Noah runs out of eggs to do the "fun" stuff, he says, "Oh, I betta do mo' lessons so I can get mo' eggs!" This keeps him motivated to do the more educated parts of the website.

I also love the fact that this website uses a phonics-based method of teaching to read, which I personally think is very important.

My two older children love this site, too. Thane is 7 and Adrianna is 6, and both are good readers. The second level of the site, called "Reading Express," has more advanced lessons which involve spelling, grammar, and reading comprehension. It also has more advanced books for the children to read to earn their eggs. My older kids enjoy both the Reading Eggs and Reading Express sections of the site, and I love that they are practicing and improving their reading skills.

Another great thing about the site is that they do progress reports to show the parents what the child has accomplished. It also shows the child's "reading age" and "comprehension age" based on the lessons they complete. Noah, so far, is at a 4.75 reading age and has learned 37 phonic skills. And he knows 4 sight words. He has learned to sound out the "at" words (cat, sat, hat, fat, etc.), "am" words (Sam, am, ham) and can recognize which word is which in simple sentences. At he is only 3.

Overall, I think this is fun, educational, and worthwhile website. I am particular about what my children spend time online doing, and this site is one I don't mind them spending time on. There is a fee for purchasing a subscription, but it is pretty reasonable. Definitely worth it if you are able to spend money on a preschool reading curriculum. One word of caution, though: for those parents who are strict about the beat of music they are comfortable with, there may be a few songs that have a bit of a "rock and roll" feel to them. Other than that, this is a site that I highly recommend to help your children learn to read and improve their reading skills.

"Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me … Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful… that’s what matters to me." -Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs, the wildly-successful genius behind the wildly-successful Apple company, passed away this week. According to the above statement, which he made back in 1993, his goal wasn't to be the richest man in the cemetery when he died. He wanted to "do something wonderful," make a difference. And I commend him on that. He certainly was successful, at least in the eyes of the world. But I have to wonder, how much of that success counted for eternity?

I'm not trying to minimize the things Steve Jobs accomplished during his life. And I admire the fact that money was not his main objective. But then I think of the missionaries who spend their lives with poor people, living in poverty themselves, to spread the truth of the love of Jesus and the importance of eternity. Or of people who work dangerous jobs, who put themselves at risk for their country or fellow man, so that someone else might have a chance to discover the importance of eternity. Or the single mothers who work two jobs and never go out, but spend their (limited) free time teaching their children to love Jesus and others. These are people who will not be famous. Millions of people will not be informed when they die, and their accomplishments will not be published on Wikipedia. They certainly will not be the richest people in the cemetery.

But they surely will be among he richest people in eternity.

As author and speaker Randy Alcorn says, life is a dot. It starts, it ends. Eternity is an unending line extending from that dot. We should be living for the line.

Being the richest person in the cemetery shouldn't matter. But I hope I'm among the richest people in eternity.