Maegan Grace

So much has happened in the last several weeks. Many good things, some hard things, but I know I have learned a lot through it all.

We were sent to Salt Lake City at the beginning on June, expecting to have to deliver our baby 6 weeks early. The ultrasound tests indicated a high likelihood that our baby could have anemia from my antibody. When we got there, the tests were better, but they admitted me and gave me steroid shots and monitored me and the baby closely. I was in the hospital as an inpatient for three days, then I had to come in daily for tests for a few more days. We were lucky enough to be able to get into the Ronald McDonald House (which is such a wonderful charity) so the kids were able to be with us. They finally let me go home, but decided I needed to deliver at 37 weeks. I was able to have the baby in Jackson, Wyoming, as planned, which was a blessing. Maegan Grace Daniels was born June 25, 2010, weighing a respectable 6 pounds and 10 ounces. She looked great, and it seemed at first that all was well.

As I lay in the recovery room, eagerly waiting to hold my new daughter, the doctor told me they couldn't bring her to me yet because she was having a little trouble breathing. I wasn't too worried, and I was able to peek in at her as I passed the nursery to get to my room. I was disappointed that I wasn't able to nurse her right away. They told me on Friday night that she would probably be better in the morning. Her x-rays showed some fluid in her lungs, which is not uncommon with babies delivered by C-section. (With vaginal births, the fluid gets squeezed out.) She was still struggling on Saturday, and by Sunday morning she still hadn't improved. They also discovered a small leak in one of her lungs. Finally they decided to transport her to Idaho Falls, Idaho, where they had a NICU with more advanced equipment. They allowed me to go with her, so we were loaded into a small plane and took a 20 minute flight to Idaho Falls. Maegan was in the NICU there for 7 days, and we were lucky to be able to stay with some friends nearby. Our whole family was together, which I am very grateful for. Maegan came home on July 4, and has been doing great since.

The whole experience was almost surreal. Had I allowed myself, I could have been very fearful and concerned. But I wasn't. The hardest thing for me was thinking of my baby struggling to breathe and me not being able to help her. It did bring back memories of my precious Naomi. She, too, had holes in her lungs. Her outcome was very different, and there were times that I was afraid, just for brief moments, that I might lose Maegan, too. But the fear was never that great. Many of the doctors and nurses kept telling me that they couldn't believe how calm I was about everything. I didn't really feel calm, but I was able to share the fact that I knew that God was in control and would take care of things, one way or the other. One thing the experience did for me was to make me thankful that Naomi's suffering wasn't prolonged.

We are thankful to have our healthy baby girl home with us. She is a typical newborn, sleeping more during the day than at night but eating well and growing. I sympathize with parents who have their children in NICU for extended periods of time. I hadn't realized how stressful and tiring that could be. I am determined that I will enjoy the time that she is so small and try not to wish for the time where she will be sleeping through the night and needing to eat less often. I want to enjoy each stage of my children's life and not wish the time away. I am trying to cherish the moment, every moment.

Anti-E Antibody: a science lesson I'd rather not have to learn.

I'm currently 32 weeks pregnant. Up until last week, the pregnancy had been normal and uneventful. I have been more tired than usual, but with three kids running around, that's not too surprising.

A couple weeks ago I went to my appointment to do the glucose tolerance blood test, and I of course expected a normal result. When the doctor called a few days later to discuss my blood test results, I was sure she was going to tell me that I had gestational diabetes. I immediately started to think about having to test my blood sugar and stop eating sugar and, worst of all, stop drinking pop. Turns out, however, that I was negative for diabetes, but they had found an antibody in my blood.

"What does that mean?"

I asked the same thing.

I knew that at the beginning of my pregnancies they always take a bunch of blood and run tests on it, but I really didn't know or understand what they are checking for. Turns out that these antibodies are part of what they test for. For those who don't know what that means, let me explain the best I can:

Sometimes, during the birth of a baby, the baby's blood will get mixed with that of the mother. If the baby's blood has proteins that the mother's blood does not, it can cause the mother's blood to develop antibodies against the "foreign" blood protein. It treats that protein like an invader and builds these antibodies to attack the invaders. In rare cases, the blood can somehow mix during the actual pregnancy, which is what happened in my case. My blood tested negative for antibodies at the beginning of the pregnancy, but by the third trimester the E antibody has shown up. Which means that my baby has the E protein, but my blood doesn't. Somehow, some of the baby's blood leaked through the placenta and mixed with mine, causing my blood to build the antibodies against it.

The danger comes if the antibodies cross back over the placenta and attack the baby's blood. This usually doesn't happen, but because it can cause severe anemia in the baby if it does happen, the doctors like to monitor very closely to make sure the baby isn't being harmed. I had a specialized ultrasound last Tuesday and was told that the baby is fine for now, but they want to check again in two weeks. If the antibodies do start to harm the baby, they will either have to deliver the baby early or do a blood transfusion on the baby while she is still in the womb.

My body will always have these antibodies. If I have any more pregnancies in the future, and the babies have the E protein, the same thing can happen to them.

So this is the science lesson I learned this week. Luckily, this E antibody isn't usually a problem, and the doctors are optimistic that the baby will not be harmed. Still, I was much happier when the pregnancy was not labeled a "high-risk" pregnancy and I didn't have this to worry about.

Still, I'm sure things will work out. Those of you who think of it, you could pray for our little girl, that this antibody won't pass over and attack her blood. Pray that the ultrasound next week will show that she is fine, and that they won't have to deliver her early. And please pray that I won't waste much time worrying about things that might be.

Website Promotion

Today I am writing to promote a new website I discovered via my friend Trisha. It is www.househoncho.com, and it is a neat website for homemakers/home managers/whatever you want to call yourselves.

I admit, the main reason I am promoting it is to enter a drawing to win a bag. But I really enjoy the website and have promoted it in a newsletter I help edit. The website was started by a woman who claims she secretly wishes she could quit her full-time job to be a full-time homemaker. If you register on the site, you can receive an email a day with some tips on how to keep your house organized every day. For example, the Thursday to-do list will have three easy, three medium, and three challenging tasks to complete that day in a certain room. You are encouraged to try to complete three of these tasks each day from any category. There is also a short, helpful blog posted most days. The thing I like about this site is that the writer keeps it short and sweet. She knows how busy we homemakers are! So, if anyone happens to be reading this, check out the website. And if you tell your friends via email, facebook, or your own blog, you can enter to win a bag by Vibrant Designs. See the website for details!

Bad parenting

What makes a bad parent? This is a question I sometimes ask myself, especially on days when I feel like I'm a terrible mother. You know, those days where your kids are acting terrible and you know it's because you haven't taught them well. Or on these same days when you finally lose your patience and snap or yell at them in front of the cashier. Or when you forget the kids' coats.

But do these things really make you a bad parent? I hope not, because if so, I really am a terrible mother. If being a "good" parent means you always do the right thing, never lose your patience, or never make parenting mistakes, then I don't think a "good" parent exists.

I have come to the conclusion that the only way you can be a bad parent is if you neglect or abuse your children. (By neglect, I include when parents refuse to train or guide their children in any way. Letting children do whatever they want, whenever they want, is not safe or healthy for them.) That doesn't mean we shouldn't, as parents, be constantly trying to improve our parenting skills. It doesn't mean that there are some choices that are better for our children than others. It just means that if you are trying your best to take care of your children, you are not a bad parent.

No matter what other people might think.

There seems to be a lot of debate about different parenting methods, and sometimes these debates get pretty heated. I understand that the raising of children is an emotional issue. I don't understand or agree with the parents who point fingers at others and label them as "bad parents" because they choose to do things differently than they do.

Are you a bad parent if you let your baby cry? Not necessarily. If you never attend to your baby when he cries, you probably aren't doing your best to take care of him; but if you are teaching him how to fall asleep on his own, for his own good, so he gets sufficient sleep, then you are not a bad parent.

Are you a bad parent if you make your child sleep in his own room? It may seem mean when the child is begging and pleading to stay in your room, but if you are trying to teach your child to be a little independent, for his own good, then you are not a bad parent.

On the other hand, are you a bad parent if you allow your child to sleep in your room until he chooses to move, or if you always rock or nurse your baby to sleep? It might not be how I choose to do things, but that doesn't mean I will label you as a bad parent. If you are giving your child shelter, food, direction, and lots of love; then who am I to tell you that you are doing things wrong?

As a Christian parent, I try to do things in a way that pleases God. Unfortunately, there is little in the Bible that tells us exactly how to handle the day-to-day issues that come up. The best we can do is to apply the biblical principles the best we can. Something that works for one family may not work for another family. We should be willing to help others and give advice, and to share what works for us. But when we point fingers and label others as "bad" because they don't parent as we do, we are not showing them the love of Christ.

Introduction to "On the Doorposts"

As an introduction to my new blog, I thought I should start with an explanation of why I titled my blog "On the Doorposts." This title is based on the passage in Deuteronomy 11, which states:

"Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes. 19 And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. 20 And thou shalt write them upon the door posts of thine house, and upon thy gates: 21 That your days may be multiplied, and the days of your children, in the land which the LORD sware unto your fathers to give them, as the days of heaven upon the earth."

It is my hope that as I raise my children, I will make God's Word such a part of our lives that it will be just like these verses talk about. They will not be just spoken words, but they will be stamped into our hearts and souls. They will be talked about as the children sit around the house, and as they go to bed at night, and as they wake up in the morning. The Bible is not just a book filled with stories: it is a true account of actual events in the lives of actual people, and these biblical characters should be as real to our children as their great-grandparents.

Now, to avoid confusion, let me state that even though I am using these verses on my blog, and I believe that the Old Testament is truly the inspired Word of God, as is the New Testament; it doesn't mean that I believe we are still under Old Testament Law. We are under grace. However, the principles in this passage still apply to us today, and I hope to apply them to my own home life.

My blog will not be as exciting as some. It will not be as eloquent or fancy or intelligent as many. I am a simple person, with a simple writing style. I plan to write about the things that are most important to me: parenting, marriage, homemaking, homeschooling, reading, writing, and editing. I have a few "social issues" that I can get passionate about, which I'm sure will show up in my blog from time to time. Writing is fun, and although I am not a great writer, especially compared to many, it is a satisfying outlet that I am looking forward to indulging in from time to time.