So much has happened in the last several weeks. Many good things, some hard things, but I know I have learned a lot through it all.
We were sent to Salt Lake City at the beginning on June, expecting to have to deliver our baby 6 weeks early. The ultrasound tests indicated a high likelihood that our baby could have anemia from my antibody. When we got there, the tests were better, but they admitted me and gave me steroid shots and monitored me and the baby closely. I was in the hospital as an inpatient for three days, then I had to come in daily for tests for a few more days. We were lucky enough to be able to get into the Ronald McDonald House (which is such a wonderful charity) so the kids were able to be with us. They finally let me go home, but decided I needed to deliver at 37 weeks. I was able to have the baby in Jackson, Wyoming, as planned, which was a blessing. Maegan Grace Daniels was born June 25, 2010, weighing a respectable 6 pounds and 10 ounces. She looked great, and it seemed at first that all was well.
As I lay in the recovery room, eagerly waiting to hold my new daughter, the doctor told me they couldn't bring her to me yet because she was having a little trouble breathing. I wasn't too worried, and I was able to peek in at her as I passed the nursery to get to my room. I was disappointed that I wasn't able to nurse her right away. They told me on Friday night that she would probably be better in the morning. Her x-rays showed some fluid in her lungs, which is not uncommon with babies delivered by C-section. (With vaginal births, the fluid gets squeezed out.) She was still struggling on Saturday, and by Sunday morning she still hadn't improved. They also discovered a small leak in one of her lungs. Finally they decided to transport her to Idaho Falls, Idaho, where they had a NICU with more advanced equipment. They allowed me to go with her, so we were loaded into a small plane and took a 20 minute flight to Idaho Falls. Maegan was in the NICU there for 7 days, and we were lucky to be able to stay with some friends nearby. Our whole family was together, which I am very grateful for. Maegan came home on July 4, and has been doing great since.
The whole experience was almost surreal. Had I allowed myself, I could have been very fearful and concerned. But I wasn't. The hardest thing for me was thinking of my baby struggling to breathe and me not being able to help her. It did bring back memories of my precious Naomi. She, too, had holes in her lungs. Her outcome was very different, and there were times that I was afraid, just for brief moments, that I might lose Maegan, too. But the fear was never that great. Many of the doctors and nurses kept telling me that they couldn't believe how calm I was about everything. I didn't really feel calm, but I was able to share the fact that I knew that God was in control and would take care of things, one way or the other. One thing the experience did for me was to make me thankful that Naomi's suffering wasn't prolonged.
We are thankful to have our healthy baby girl home with us. She is a typical newborn, sleeping more during the day than at night but eating well and growing. I sympathize with parents who have their children in NICU for extended periods of time. I hadn't realized how stressful and tiring that could be. I am determined that I will enjoy the time that she is so small and try not to wish for the time where she will be sleeping through the night and needing to eat less often. I want to enjoy each stage of my children's life and not wish the time away. I am trying to cherish the moment, every moment.
